I can't live without you
by Derpasaurus
Summary: Humanity could finally be saved by Hanji's newest discovery, but Eren feels as though his life has lost meaning. Levi is adamant that they can make a new meaning together, but Eren won't hear of it, not until it's too late.. BL/Shounen-ai - Ereri (Eren/Rivaille) pairing. T for swearing, slight gore and character deaths. One-shot.


_So - I'm actually a big fan of this pairing, even though, I'm actually not a big fan of BL/BoyxBoy/Yaoi/Shounen-ai - Whatever you kids wanna call it._

_I actually saw this depressing as all hell picture of Eren and Levi, dying together and it gave me the idea for this - Now, usually, I'm a sap for happy endings, and there is one in here, but it's tragic and you probably won't see it, since it's not as blatant._

_Please, enjoy ^^_

* * *

It had taken five years to happen - for the almost-medieval and sheltered humanity to come up with a solution, a way to kill titans on bigger scales, what they'd waited for.

Hanji loved titans, it may seem more than anything, but she was the one to come up with this strange idea. A choking gas that not only infects the titans with a fatal, fast-acting disease, but also, putting a stop to their regenerative powers.

Mikasa was overjoyed - no longer would her precious family put himself in danger recklessly and seemingly without end. No longer would those disgusting creatures taint him with their corrupt blood. He would be safe, surely he would.

But Eren didn't agree - he never agreed. When given the chance to keep his life and remove the titans from the vast outside world that he had always yearned for, he declined, "A coward's way of fighting isn't something I want a part of," he'd say, or, ".. If I don't use these blades, the ones made to kill titans, and if I don't rip them apart myself, then wiping them out is meaningless,".

Corporal Levi, humanity's number one crusader, _begged_ him to reconsider. He was so blinded, so immersed in this young man, who had succeeded in what no one had before - he had captured the cold, short Rivaille's heart. It was such a rare phenomenon, that the Corporal belittled himself and he did it for none other than that 'titan shifter brat', Eren Yeager.

Levi loved Eren.

Eren loved Levi.

But Eren would never give up on his hunger for revenge, would never forget the way his mother looked at him between the teeth of that giant beast, would never forget that he was nothing more than an idiot with a short temper. He knew, that was all he could ever be.

So, that night, late on a Tuesday, which he had waited for - the day when the light-sleeping Mikasa could no longer keep her eyes open, would not wake up from the slightest of footsteps - the night when he could sneakout. Where he could sneak out.. And probably die.

Despite the fact, that he had steeled himself for that particular night, he found his emerald eyes drifting towards his superior's quarters. He could see the slight flickering of the candle that he knew his lover always lit before he went to bed. So, he gave in. He hoped that Levi would be asleep and slipped inside with the lightest and most quiet of movements.

And he saw him. His heicho. That calm, foreign sleeping face that no one but Eren had probably ever seen. He crept over and bent down so that his warm, quivering breath swept away some stray locks of his beloved's hair from his pale forehead and lightly, ever so lightly, pressed his dry lips in the centre. When he pulled away, he gave one last longing look towards Levi and felt the salty warmth of a single tear trail over his jaw, drop onto the polished stone ground and soak into it.

_Drip! Drip! Drip! Splash!_

Levi shot bolt upright, the sounds of falling dew drops resouding through his head and he saw that familiar, 3DMG-clad back, leather straps over light, drab clothing, those messy, brown locks.. "Eren!" He said firmly, immediately.

Eren turned his head with a penitent look, teeth boring into cracked lips, "Ah.. I'm sorry, heicho - I didn't mean to wake you," his jade eyes looked at the solemn man before him with sad acknowledgement.

"Are you going somewhere, Eren?" Levi questioned, sharp eyes inspecting his state. Guarded posture. 3D Maneuver Gear. Fists. Loud, shallow breathing. Clenched jaw. Quivering mouth. Darting eyes. Tears.. "Why are you crying?" he asked, worried.

"Crying? Me? No way. Why the hell would I be crying, right?" Eren gave a nervous laugh, as if it would fool anyone. He eyed the door constantly.

"I'll ask again," Levi said sternly, looking sharply, "Are you going somewhere, you damn brat?" he said. He was mad. It was as clear as day to anyone.

"I am," Eren finally admitted. Eyes downcast and his shoulders slumping. His breathing became unsteady.

"You weren't even going to ask your superior for permission?" It was like when they first met. When Eren was just a strange brat who had some weird experiments performed on him - It wasn't how Eren wanted to say goodbye.

"It didn't seem to make much sense to ask for permission that I would never get especially since I don't think I'll be coming back.." And with that, he was off. Running as fast as he could before Levi woke up from his daze and came barreling after him.

Meanwhile, Levi thought he heard the loud, painful crack of his heart breaking the second Eren confirmed that he didn't plan on coming back. He didn't plan to come back to the Recon Corps. He didn't plan to return to Levi. He didn't plan.. To survive at all. Levi shook his jarred emotions off and strapped his own gear on, before going full-speed after Eren himself - no way would he let him go, Eren wouldn't go anywhere without him.

It was outside of the gigantic, 50 meter walls that Levi first caught sight of Eren. He looked absolutely magnificient, plowing through many titans all at once, he dared to stop and admire the handsome 20-year-old who was practically diving headfirst into suicide.

But then, an abberant appeared. His targeting was deadset on Eren. He was going to eat Eren and Eren was going to leave him - Levi couldn't have that. He saw Eren squirm in the abnormally-strong grip of the giant and the Corporal dived into action, slicing the fast titan's imprisoning arm right off, "Eren!" was heard, almost as a war cry from the stoic crusader.

"Levi-heicho!" Eren screamed in alarm. Levi took this as surprise and didn't even register the titan's other arm swooping down for revenge, didn't notice until the lower half of his body was completely crushed.

But he didn't scream. He didn't cry. He lay there, absolutely shocked. Never had he been distracted enough to allow a titan to get a single blow on him, and he never expected one to fatally wound him either.

"Levi! Levi! Hey! Are you okay? Oh, fuck!" Eren was equally as distracted now. He saw his usually-composed Corporal with wide-eyes but that was hardly his concern, the man that he had loved for the past 4 years was dying right infront of him. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore, they came without limit.

"D-don't..cry," Levi gasped out, trying to crawl towards his green-eyed lover, blood trailing down his jaw, ".. You piece of shit brat," the Corporal rasped, trying in vain to lighten the severity of the dire situation.

Eren urgently scrambled over to his beloved's side and scoped the damage - his shorter-than-average legs were bent in odd angles, joints and tendons seeming absolutely shattered and blood pouring out without limit - he gingerly lifted his heicho's head into his lap, "H-heicho.." his lukewarm tears mixing with the hot stream of blood running down Levi's face.

"Just this once, Yaeger.. " Levi began, Eren listening intently, ".. Call me by my name," he said finally, after gasping for innumerable breaths.

Eren tenderly stroked his older lover's face, wiping away the smudged bloodstains from his chin, "I'm sorry, Rivaille.. I know how much you hate to get dirty," Eren apologized with a bittersweet tone.

"This time, it's.. alri-"

"Don't forgive me!" Eren yelled in deep sorrow, tears welling up faster than they can fall, "Don't you dare fucking forgive me this time, Heicho.. Not this time!" he commanded sternly, a cold shiver running up his spine.

"Stupid brat.." Rivaille began softly, ".. I'm the one who gives the fucking orders around here, I'll forgive whoever the fuck I want, unless you want my foot up your ass," A bitter crack rang true. He let out a strained chuckle and settled back down.

"Corporal.."

"My name's not Corporal,"

"Rivaille, then,"

"Yes, Eren?"

"I love you!" Eren called out, clutching his pained body closer to him, "I love you.. So much, Levi - Don't leave me, okay?" The younger male was hysterical, loud sobs escaping his lips.

Levi tried on a small smile, a genuine, happiness-filled one, and for the first time in a long while, he found that it fit perfectly, "You know I hate making promises that I can't keep, Eren," he said solemnly, reaching a weak hand up to stroke his lover's face, wiping away rapidly-shedding tears.

Eren lightly placed his own hand on top, "..I can't live without you," He told Levi without a second of thought, emerald eyes locked with squinted, grey ones, "You love me, aswell, don't you?" He felt needy all of a sudden - In need of reassurance.

A weak nod was given: "More than anyone," Levi replied in a hushed tone, "..Which is why, I want you to know that I'm dying and there's nothing you can do about it.. So, live on without me, okay?" he flimsily tightened his grip on Eren's blood-stained hand.

The green-eyed boy bowed his head, those brown locks that Levi loved so much framing his downcast head. He lowered his face towards Levi's and gave a sad smile, "I wish you weren't always so damn straight-forware, you stubborn prick," Eren whispered bitterly, before pressing his lips softly on Levi's own in a fleeting, final kiss.

"Tell me that you'll live on, even if I'm not here, Eren!" Levi forced out, causing himself to cough a hot spray of blood onto Eren's face, to which the other began crying and heaving worse than ever before.

Eren's shaking fingers carresed the Corporal's face lovingly before closing his eyes, ".. You can go on now, Rivaille.." he assured him through heavy sobs, fighting the pains of heartache, "But, about living on without you.. I won't make promises I can't keep, either.." He told him with an apologetic tone, penitence gleaming in his jaded eyes, "Goodbye.." So soft. Barely audible to the Corporal's ears, but sadly, he heard.

Rivaille couldn't seem to pry open his eyes, "Eren!" was all he managed, upon hearing the clatter of Eren's serrated blades being unsheathed. For the first time in decades, he allowed himself the luxury of crying, as he felt something warm trickle over him and a limp body embrace him lazily.

And there the two lovers lie. Amidst a slaughter of titans, the extraordinary boy with determind green eyes and humanity's strongest soldier lay together, hands still clasped together. Upon seeing them, everyone believed their physical wounds were the killing blow for them, but in actuality..

They both died of heart break.


End file.
